I keep thinking about Rita's last conversation with me and it makes me really want to cry. We both had come to the conclusion that we had failed! Failed in our pursuit to loose weight ... And we were very sad about that .. Since dec 2012 Rita hadn't been right, hadn't been her usual, fluffy, funny self! The hospital kept messing with her drugs and not getting it right! But last week, finally, it seemed she had turned the corner and she was back to her jolly self, chirpy, wicked and sorting all her craft goodies out! She was the happiest she'd been for a while but was despondent with the weight she'd gained whilst all her meds were wrong.. But we were going to sort it, we were fed up but we were going to sort it ...
"Don't worry Rita, we'll get through it together!"
"Of course we will,"
"Lots of love~ see you soon."
"Bye, God bless mate!"
But we won't will we, we can't and we never will!
I'm sad that our last thoughts were of failure and that's made me angry that the weight of not losing weight made us sad and frustrated ... Is that the way it should be?