Monday, 31 December 2012

This year!

This was an unusual christmas for me I must say .. normally I'm running round like a headless chicken, hot and flustered and slightly moody because lack of help .. but I missed that this year ... I'm more than peeved at the way I feel and I really feel deprived of my normal christmas feelings!!!! I missed all the frantic shopping and craft markets that I so love to frequent .. I missed all the last minute dashes to the shops .. I felt really deflated!
The family (well those that talk to me!!) were fantastic and The Blue One's cooked a fantastic lunch christmas day ... but it doesn't stop the feeling of unhappiness I'm experiencing at the moment ..I think back to October when I was half a pound short of the my 3 stone weight shed, I was walking a good 2 miles plus a day and I was feeling good ... will I get back to that this year? I know of two people who've had 'tummy' related surgery and they've taken well over a year to recover! Surely not!  But yes it seems they have! I can't wait that long ... That's too far away .. I want to be able to plan a summer holiday, I want weekends walking by the sea, I want our daily walk back .. not this shuffling about holding my tummy and sitting down every 5-10 mins because I hurt so very much! That's not me!!! I want to be back at the top of my mountain .... I'm finding this very hard!

Friday, 28 December 2012

Waiting ...

... for my babes to come home after being away for a few days with their Father .. I do miss them when they're not here .. though it is always nice having grown up time with Big Blue One!  xxx

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Christmas time ...

The day started with The Littles knocking on our bedroom door at 7:55,
and in they came with their stockings from Santa! Bless.

Big Blue One's parents arrived at nine and by about 10:30
all the presents were opened!

The Blue Ones cooked the meal, brilliantly... roast turkey, pigs in blankets,
chipolatas, roast potatoes & parsnips, stuffing balls, broccoli, peas and a
carrot, swede and potato mash.
All served up with lashings of luscious gravy (made with naughty cream
and wine I was told!!!), cranberry sauce, crackers, and good conversation!

Little Pink One was the perfect hostess and all I could do was
sit and supervise.
We all sat and chatted and had a lovely afternoon ...

Happy Christmas!

Monday, 24 December 2012

My babies ...

...are so growing up...
no longer do we put out the reindeer dust so Santa can see it glistening and find his way up to the front door...
no more listening to a reading of "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" before bed...
no more putting out carrots for the reindeer, mince pies and milk for Santa!
What replaced it this Christmas Eve .. was me trying to play them this version of Twas The Night Before Christmas that I'd grown up with ..and the two of them arguing over the chocolate Little Blue One hadn't taken out of the calendar, that he said Little Pink One could have, her saying she didn't want it and him shoving it down the front of her top! Needless to say that didn't go down very well ....
Still the evening had a nice feel to it, we played family games on the Wii and also laid the table ready for Christmas Lunch!

  The pressies surrounded the tree ..

The evening flew by, suddenly I noticed it was 11:30 .... Bed!!!!

Friday, 21 December 2012

My birthday!

.... arrived on the day when the world was supposed to end (it didn't!).

We all got up a bit early so we could open the pressies together

then the Littlies went off to school ..

 We had a couple of deliveries while they were at school .. One for some lovely flowers and chocolates from the Littlies,
 the second for a fab bunch of purple flowers from Big Blue One .. what a lucky lady!

 Because it's the end of term, the Littlies finished school at 1:00 and therefore we were all able to go out a cheeky spot of lunch at The Windmill .. very nice!  Yummy food!!  Once again too many syns to think about!

One happy 46 year old!!!!!

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Dear oh dear!

Little Blue One's only gone and made gorgeous mince pies, brandy butter lids with a cheeky glace cherry!  Wonder how many syns?!?!?!  Nice!

Monday, 17 December 2012


I got to pop into Sw today .. It was so lovely seeing everyone, though, not weighed in, cos I still need to get better and be able to drive myself regularly!
It was the Christmas party so a 'party food' tasting session, a quick image therapy and a massive raffle ... Christmas happiness all around but for some angst ( too much tempting food on offer over the Christmas period!).

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Family weekend ....

The Littlies went off ice skating with their Dad Saturday .... Little Pink One slipped hurting her already bruised knee .. but carried on. Once again the weather was on their side! A lovely sunny day!
Us biggies got ready for the arrival of my Dad and step Mum.
It was great when they arrived because I really needed cheering up.
The Littlies then went to see the film The Hobbit and their Dad dropped them off on the way back ..
We had a smashing tea altogether of sheperds pie, roasted vegetables, brocolli and for dessert trifle and christmas pudding!  Yummy! Though my Dad does have a habit of making rich food ... lots of butter, fat and cream! Naughty but oh so tasty!!!!
An evening chatting, watching telly and just being together!  Lovely!

Sunday we all went across to my sister's  ... what a super time ... Great Nephew's growing so quickly (he'll be 2 in 2 weeks time!) and he's in to everything .. a little dynamo ~ he doesn't stop!!!! Gorgeous little thing!
They cooked a massive rib of beef for lunch and we had it with roast potatoes, Yorkshire puds, brussels(yuck!),  vegetables and gravy ( my Dad is the gravy master!!!), and a Claygate trifle for pudding! (forgotten about those!) ... we all have a real hoot together!
During the afternoon we just chilled .. keeping an eye on Great Nephew and then sadly we had to leave as the Littlies had homework to do ... I love my family!

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Scan results .....

... came in the post this morning ...  "No post operative problems identified.  Everything seen on the scan is consistent with the recent surgery that you had and in particular there was no sign of any internal hernias or twists in the bowel.  As a result of this I would expect that your abdomen would continue to settle over the coming weeks and months and that no surgery is indicated."   Must just be adhesions then that are giving me all the pain! January I've got a flexible sigmoidoscopy to look forward too!!!!

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

How lovely ..

... had the SW Christmas meal today at The Barley Mow ... it was lovely to see everyone and the food was good .. I'd pre ordered the melon to start and the beef for the main ... cor! it was tasty ... and I had the biggest yorkshire pudding I'd ever seen!!!! Didn't eat my brussels ~ they're evil!!!! LOL!
I've not done much today ... but oh was my tummy hurting by the end of the evening .. shame really as towards the end I was getting fidgety and not really listening to my friends as I was trying to get comfy ...
Ho hum!
It was lovely to come home and see what had been going on while I was out .....

Monday, 10 December 2012

Done ..

.... now all I have to do is wait for my results ..
I had to go and sit in the Mulberry Suite and drink, over a two hour period, 2 pints of squash with something in it .. then wander down to the CT Scan department ... Ouh! I was busting for a wee by then!!!! Anyway quick strip, gown on and onto the couch, find a vein and pop in a canula (wasn't expecting that!)...
The machine pulled me in and out a couple of times with me holding my breath, then the nurse came back in and held my arm straight while the warm liquid was injected .. now that's weird because you feel the warmth spreading then (for girls only) it makes you feel like you've wet yourself!!!!!LOL!
So another pop in and out but this time holding breath for longer!  Done!
Off to change and a nice cup of tea and a sit down because I'd had the injection!!!!
I called Big Blue One to say I'd finished then bumped into my Consultant ... who said he either get the results tonight of tomorrow morning watch this space!
Big Blue One came with The Littlies due to needing to be at piano at 6:00 ... after that, and because Tesco had sent me a money off voucher, we went to Pizza Express for tea!
I had chicken something (can't remember what) but it was richer than I thought it would be reading the description.. tasty but I could feel my tummy complaining not too soon after leaving! Bloomin' bloomin'!
Up till 1:30 tonight!!!!

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Whey hey!

Well I finally got my date for the scan ... Monday! Yipee!
It's a long old process .. arrive at 2:30 for the prep., then go for scan at 4:30 .. not sure what the prep involves though .. but it should be interesting ...
Hopefully this will let us know what's going on inside and why I'm still so very uncomfortable!

Went to my art group today, which was lovely ... but had a couple of naughties ..a small sausage roll , thanks Jane, a mince pie, a mouthful of bucks fizz, then was given another mince pie to take home!!! Cor! They were yummy, actually I'm not a fan of mince pies but these were tasty, thanks Lesley~!
Started my Linseeds today .. 3 teaspoons mixed in with my Muller Light yogurt and washed down with a glass of water ....
Pasta and sauce, half a sausage and mixed salad for lunch ..
Beef in the slow cooker for tea ...

No wonder my tummy really is sore now! Too much done!

Monday, 3 December 2012

I really really hope not!

Can't help but worry that the worse case scenario (another op in a few months) is going to happen to me and all I think about is pain and going back to the horrible hospital ..
I dream about the older people on the ward .. like the man not even on our ward who walked up and down every 20 mins or so to check the doors but got really audible whenever questioned to the point of violence.
Or the sweet, little, old dear two beds away from me, who, I woke to one evening with her standing over me playing with my morphine pump saying it's alright Dear I'm a nurse and I'm only here to help you!
Or the funny, lady diagonally opposite who kept thinking her dog Rosie was either in the bed side cabinet opposite her or under my bed so kept pulling out her drips to come and find her and either losing her balance and falling on the poor, truly ill, patient in the bed next door or knocking water and stuff flying round the ward and who too was very very audible when helped back to her bed! Mind you she did come up with some funny stories about having curry for breakfast, which was delicious. Or the bishop coming and taking her to the bathroom and making her get undressed! All the same when she got 'confused', as a poorly person, she was scary to me!
Or the tiny, crumpled little lady next door that lay in her bed and through the night would shout out the same thing for hours on end .. 'help me please', or 'Mother I'm sorry', or 'I just want to play' or 'fee fi fo' or 'where's my bicycle'  ... hours on hours of that is very depressing especially 'help me please' which the nurse took no notice of! ...
Or the really noisy man in the room across the way that seemed to ring his bell every few mins and when the nurses didn't respond straight away he'd start shouting and become abusive so everyone on the ward could hear!
The nightmares of sharing a bathroom with a stoma patient and going to the toilet to find flick bits of poo and gunk round the sink where the bag had been cleaned out!
Or the really uncomfortable beds, the noisy apron dispensers, the tepid, wet food, the rounds of having bloods taken, cannulas cleaned, drip alarms and lots of noise!
I know this isn't the end of the world (that's happening on my birthday apparently!) and may seem very silly .. but none of these things were helpful on the route to getting better and these things are in my mind and I have nightmares about my time spent in hospital... I so don't want to go there again!!!

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Sunny Sunday Skating ...

.. Cold but sunny today .. Little Pink One and Big Blue One had to whizz into town to do some history homework for Little Pink One. I'm feeling very down at the moment and am really fed up with this uncomfortable feeling!!!
Then all of us popped out to a massively busy HGL for a 1:00 ice skating slot.  What fun .. the Littlies took to it straight away .. a few laps to warm up,

then off they went, Little Pink One a bit more cautious than Little Blue One!

They did have a good time and the weather was indeed perfect ..

A warming hot chocolate and jacket potato with beans to round off the afternoon ...