Tuesday, 4 June 2013

What an emotional day that was!

Phew!  That was hard going on the emotional front I must say!  The thing is I'm really at a low... Fed up with pains, fed up with my inability to actually lose weight, fed up of living on painkillers and yesterday I really felt on my own, like I have no one to talk too!  (wonder if all these painkillers are making me feel so sad?) 
Anyway, luckily for me, I have a great support group in the form of my Slimming World friends, and there are lots of them, who offer comments of encouragement and support in times of need. Even the lovely ones who don't know me that well!  They are all there keeping me and others bobbling along on the road to our goals... Thank heavens for them all!!!   Xxxxxx I took all their comfort yesterday and used it as well as I could.  My fab consultant took to the phone and we had a good chat albeit a bit teary from my end and I actually felt a bit positive by the end! Hurrah!  What happened later on though, knocked me for six...  Long story - short... My Mother's not talking to me, hasn't done so for two years 4 months now! It hurts! 

Well, my son and I had to get some Molly lady fish for his tank so popped off to HGL! As we parked I noticed my mothers and step fathers car parked there too ... My mouth went dry, my emotions went into over-drive and my poor son, bless him, was keeping me chatting and jolly! We spent the next 45 mins trying to avoid them... Why you may ask.. Well I couldn't face another snub/ rejection... Another nail in my coffin of utter uselessness!!! I knew if I saw them I'd need to say hi, ask how they were.. You know.. The usual pleasantries ...and I knew that my step dad would try to answer and that my Mum would either turn away or say some sarcastic comment ... So why do that to myself?  I did ask my Son if he wanted to see his Nan, but like he said, 'no, why? She hadn't seen me for two years, she might not even recognise me!!!'.  
How sad is that eh? Trying to avoid one's own mother!  That was an emotionally draining moment!!
Popping to my SW group was a good thing for me last night... To be amongst lovely, like minded people.. All with their own routes to their goals!   I sat and listened, didn't speak!  Just was there!   I needed that!  Thanks for being there!   Xxxxxx

1 comment:

  1. Only just seen these comments ,omg can i punch your mum for you ? ;) sod her hun you have your lovely little family unit and you have us :) much love xxx