This year!

This was an unusual christmas for me I must say .. normally I'm running round like a headless chicken, hot and flustered and slightly moody because lack of help .. but I missed that this year ... I'm more than peeved at the way I feel and I really feel deprived of my normal christmas feelings!!!! I missed all the frantic shopping and craft markets that I so love to frequent .. I missed all the last minute dashes to the shops .. I felt really deflated!
The family (well those that talk to me!!) were fantastic and The Blue One's cooked a fantastic lunch christmas day ... but it doesn't stop the feeling of unhappiness I'm experiencing at the moment ..I think back to October when I was half a pound short of the my 3 stone weight shed, I was walking a good 2 miles plus a day and I was feeling good ... will I get back to that this year? I know of two people who've had 'tummy' related surgery and they've taken well over a year to recover! Surely not!  But yes it seems they have! I can't wait that long ... That's too far away .. I want to be able to plan a summer holiday, I want weekends walking by the sea, I want our daily walk back .. not this shuffling about holding my tummy and sitting down every 5-10 mins because I hurt so very much! That's not me!!! I want to be back at the top of my mountain .... I'm finding this very hard!