Sunny, windy Sunday!

Funnily enough .. today I feel very positive! 
A good brunch, prepared, eaten and enjoyed by everyone! Hurrah!
Evening roast, planned!
Bit of fun time with the family, done!
Chillin and a bit of networking for my new website, done!
Happy, chilled Sunday! xxx


Happy days!

Must take off my rose tinted specs! ...

... In my mind I'm gorgeous, slim, stunning, clever .. you know .. all those kinda things ...
Well yesterday I had a bit of a reality check and realsied I'm not!
I went into town to meet, have a coffee and a good old chat with my gorgeous, lovely friend. When she went off to work I pottered around town a bit ... it was hot!!!!  I thought  'I know, I'll pop into the charity shops to get a few more cooler clothes!' Simples!!!
Well I got;
a skirt (That'll look good on me, it'll hang nicely, it'll fit! I'll look great!)
a top (That'll go with the skirt nicely!)
another top (Bit warm for now, but in the cooler evenings ~ perfect!)
In reality;
a skirt ( looks like I'm wearing a big white tent! My tummy's so big the skirt stands out miles from my legs ... I look MASSIVE (cos I am!), what was I thinking!!!!)
a top (fits ok .. but, boy, what are those flabby, wobbly bit under my arms!!!! Plus it looks huge on with the skirt cos the skirt sits out so far!!!)
another top (Yeah right! Who was I kidding eh! Me get in a size 18! Was I having a laugh!!!)
So,  I must dispose of my rose tinted specs and face the truth .. I'm not stunning, gorgeous and slim .. I'm fat, ugly, short and should hang my head in shame .. oh and stop eating crap!!!!!

Happy Days!

x

Heat!

I don't know if this heat is having a good or a bad affect on me ... on one hand I'm not as hungry but on the other, I'm too hot and tired to do anything ... right down to naughtiness of naughtiness eating take away pizza!    I hear you gasp!!!!!!!
Little Blue One asked if he could have one .. and I said yes ... two medium pizza, garlic bread, wedges, and 2 Ben and Jerrys between 4 of us later .. I felt guilty!!!   Another good day bites the dust!!!!

Oh dear!

That lovely little weight loss I had last week .. I found again!!!
Never mind eh! I've had a busy week/weekend  and many meals were out of my control so I'm not surprised ... and oddly I'm not sad about it either!!!!
One exciting thing I've been working on with my son, and it's now live, is my website! I'm well chuffed with it!

Do take a peek!



Happy Days!

Phew!

I'm mentally exhausted today ... Really low... I've had a couple of, to me, major events over the last few days and now I'm done in! 

I'm really missing Little Blue One who's having a great, albeit very tiring time at work experience in the City, bless him and I can't wait for him to come home tomorrow!

My Little Pink One had dental surgery on Friday .. A very hot, long day indeed .. And it was hard to be strong and not show my worry!  Anyway I was with her when she went under and then I cried .. So I had managed ...

Everything went well .. She came round giggling, sore, bloody and swollen, but giggling!!!  bless her!  She was five teeth lighter .. Three baby teeth that were hanging on in there, a perfectly good adult tooth that had to be removed because she hasn't got the adult one on the other side to match!  (A thing from her Father (interesting actually as her father hasn't got either of his, her brother has only the opposite one, so between them there're the same as their father! ) The other interesting thing is both the Littlies are under the same company Anglian Orthodontics, but Little Blue One at Cambridge and Little Pink One at Hinchingbrook... Little Pink One has had her one removed and the braces will space all the rest of the teeth out evenly so she'll look symmetrical,  but, Little Blue One has kept his and will be having a false one put in to make his smile symmetrical!  So, same company, different views on how to deal with the same problem!!!).

The last adult tooth LPO had removed was impacted into her jaw so they had to cut into her jaw a bit to remove it .. From what I can see, there's three stitches!

That night, needless to say I didn't sleep well as I kept checking that she was alright ... She was, bless her and she slept through, she was exhausted! 

We had a quietish weekend as LPO was sore and swollen and that gave me a chance to brace myself for Monday.

Monday: the day Rita was laid to rest!  My chance to say my goodbyes to a beautiful, bubbly woman who has left a gaping hole in my life.  A lovely, Humanist ceremony, on yet another hot, sunny day!  The birds were singing, the flowers shone in the sun and Rita slid away behind the curtains... A chocking moment!  Good night Rita, sleep well!

Time to sort myself out ..I'd lost 1.5lbs this week .. A first for a very long time!

Off out for lunch with a soft, calm, petit lady with an aura about her .. I love meeting with her!

I'll get there, I know I will!!!!

 Xxx

Sad ... again ..I'm such a SELFISH COW!

... I was ironing my Little Blue One's shirt, that's all .. but it made me feel sad .. things are happening and I feel I'm losing too many people albeit in different ways ... Rita going has hit me in a big way, one ~I cannot even describe, because I don't really understand it! ...  LBO is staying with his dad for the next few weeks because he's doing work experience in London with him .. and I just feel it's another step away from me and into his big wide world ... I feel/I know he'll have a great two weeks!
LPO is so independent now, bless her!  I don't need to sort her out in the mornings for school, pack for her weekends away .. do her hair ...silly things that I used to do... nothing! I'm so not needed!
My babies' are so growing up! (I know I should be happy, and I am .. but I'm also sad .. I'm so very proud of them).

This is all me feeling sorry for myself, for my loss, for my inadequacies, for my lack of will power! For my lack of being ...
I need to sort myself out .. I'm all over the place, cry at the drop of a hat, eat anything that stays still long enough and is small enough to fit in my cake hole!!!!

Right!  Enough of this Me, Me Me ....

Slimming World .... here I come!